Learning a New Playbook

A HARDENED HEART

Little Trevor’s life wasn’t always the stuff of dreams. Growing up in Maine as one of the few Black children in his hometown was challenging—and his father’s absence made it even more difficult. Trevor didn’t know it when he wrote out his dream jobs, but he soon learned the reason for his father’s absence: He was incarcerated.

For Trevor, growing up without his father led to a lot of anger. He lashed out, punched holes in the wall, and struggled to regulate his emotions.

“I had a lot of hurt, a lot of shame. Just deep wounds, deep father wounds,” Trevor says.

He longed for connection, and at the age of 10, one form of connection was made. His father signed him up for Prison Fellowship^® Angel Tree. Angel Tree^® allows incarcerated moms and dads to provide a gift in their name to their child during the holidays, along with a heartfelt message, in partnership with local churches. Angel Tree also provides opportunities for children with incarcerated parents to experience summer camps, participate in one-day sports and STEM camps, and receive mentorship.

“It was just special,” recalls Trevor, “to open up gifts, to feel like I wasn’t forgotten, and that my father … loved me, and cared for me, and was thinking of me.”

Trevor received gifts, like toy cars and a football, from his father through Angel Tree for several years.

FIGHTING FOR THE DREAM

Though Trevor’s mother was a committed Christian, Trevor didn’t associate with faith himself. In high school, he started participating in party culture and following bad influences, but he excelled in sports. When he applied to college at the University of Maine, he received a small scholarship to play football.

“I was on a $1,000 scholarship, but I felt like it was a full ride,” he says.

Yet his unhealthy behavior continued in college. It took an incident that nearly cost him his scholarship for Trevor to wake up. Not long after this, he was invited to a Bible study. He saw this as the opportunity he needed to make a change.

On the field, Trevor continued to excel. During his sophomore year, one of his coaches approached him and told him he saw NFL potential in Trevor. From that moment on, there was no plan B. Trevor aimed at nothing else but to play in the NFL. After Trevor graduated, he did just that. He was drafted by the Indianapolis Colts in 2016 but was cut after camp.

Even though Trevor was committed to the sport, the rest of his life was a mess.

“I just wasn’t living right,” he recalls. “My identity was rooted in the game. It was rooted in my performance. It wasn’t rooted in the Lord.”

Trevor quickly signed with the New England Patriots. While playing for the Patriots, he went on to win the Super Bowl. But off the field, he continued to live a double life.

Eventually, Trevor was cut from the Patriots, too. He moved to New York and continued partying, drinking heavily. While in the city, he also started a relationship with a woman, and she became pregnant. Two days after finding out, Trevor signed with the Detroit Lions.

A CHANGED HEART

Trevor was at spring camp when he received a distraught call from his girlfriend: She had lost the baby. The miscarriage was a low point for both of them, but for Trevor, it also proved to be another turning point.

He felt the Lord calling him to commit his life more fully to Him. Trevor's perspective on football changed too. His identity was no longer in his performance, but rather his relationship with Christ. This renewed perspective allowed Trevor a grace he hadn’t known before—one that was evident when he was cut from the 53-man roster for another player.

“I really felt like it was a test from the Lord because I’ve been in this position before where my identity was rooted in performance, but now my identity was rooted in Christ. This didn’t affect me at all,” says Trevor.

He focused his efforts on helping his teammates become the best players they could be. Instead of pursuing his own glory, he wanted the glory of God to shine through his interactions with his teammates. Within a month, he was back on the starting roster.

Trevor eventually injured his ankle, but he wasted no time during recovery from his injury. Instead, he looked for ways to get involved around Detroit. To his surprise, Angel Tree was hosting a football camp in the city. He reached out to Prison Fellowship asking if he could help and was invited to speak at the event.

Trevor continued to engage with prison ministry and with youth programs. When an opportunity to discuss programming for Detroit schools arose, he was ecstatic. He was scheduled to fly to Hawaii for a meeting but never made it onto the flight.

A LONG-FOUGHT BATTLE

Instead, Trevor suffered a mental health crisis. It resulted in him being hospitalized and ultimately ended his football career. Yet through it all, Trevor saw God’s mercy and provision. No matter what he faced, he knew that being a child of God gave him a source of life, hope, and purpose. His passion for football continued; however, now he could use it to create positive experiences for children through Angel Tree sports camps.

Like Trevor, many people who grew up with a parent in prison struggle with mental health problems. The shame and stigma attached to having a parent in prison can make it especially difficult for people to ask for help. In fact, having a parent in prison is one of the adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) listed by mental health professionals as being potentially harmful to children.

Mental health interventions can be highly effective in helping children with a parent in prison process their emotions. Additionally, positive childhood experiences (PCEs) are experiences that nurture a child and create resiliency.  They have also been shown to counteract the effects of ACEs. Angel Tree camping and Angel Tree sports camps can be some of the PCEs that help children with a parent in prison.

Having been where these children are, Trevor wants the children he meets at Angel Tree sports camps to know that even though their mom or dad might not be physically present with them, their heavenly Father is.

“He would never leave them or forsake them,” Trevor says. “They don’t have to go through anything alone [if they] have the Lord with them.”