by Lou Haviland
Tynecia may be a grown woman now, but she vividly recalls discovering at age 10 that her father was in prison.
“I never saw it coming,” she says. “It was very shocking, devastating, and traumatic. I had a great relationship with my grandmother, who was more like a mom to me. My mom suffered from mental illness.”
Her grandmother was a safe person for Tynecia, nurturing her and supporting her through life, good times and bad.
It was after church, preparing for Sunday dinner, that her grandmother broke the news to her.
Tynecia’s father would later be sentenced to death, which she would not discover until her teen years. Despite the circumstances, she remained close to her father.
“It is possible to have that connection to your parent even when they are incarcerated,” she says. “They can still parent while in prison, even though my dad was ultimately executed.”
Learning that her father had been incarcerated and sentenced to the death penalty changed the life Tynecia had known. But God provided a way for her to heal and be a source of support to other girls and young women in similar situations.
DADDY'S GIRL
Tynecia lived over two hours away from her father’s home in Atlanta, Georgia. Before he went to prison, she and her father saw one another frequently. Her memories of him are happy ones.
“I would spend summers with him while he was working,” she says. “He would put me in summer camp and sometimes I would work with him. We had the best time. He would take me to Piedmont Park. We did Six Flags. We did Whitewater. It was just fun.”
Most of all, Tynecia loved going to the park with her dad.
“He loved to play tennis,” she remembers. “Sometimes I would be on the playground, and he would be playing with a friend trying to teach me tennis.”
The first person in his family to graduate from college, Tynecia’s dad was an educated man who had had a difficult upbringing. She was proud of her father and loved him.
When she began having trouble reaching him, she asked her grandmother if she had heard from him. Tynecia’s grandmother knew it was time to tell her the truth.
HEARING DIFFICULT WORDS
“She was a woman of faith,” Tynecia says of her grandmother. “I'm sure she prayed and asked God to give her the right moment. She explained to me that my dad was in jail. And I knew what jail meant. For me, as a 10-year-old, all I could do was weep. I can still remember that time.”
Her grandmother reassured Tynecia that the family would get through this. Especially, she made sure that her granddaughter knew she would always be there for her.
“My grandmother just loved on me and that's what I needed in that moment.”
Her grandmother and the rest of her extended family made sure Tynecia stayed in close contact with her father, visiting him regularly.
“I had a community, a village of people to support me,” she says. “We did go to visit him; I can remember seeing him behind that glass. It made things real.”
She and her father talked on the phone and wrote one another as much as possible. Even though he was behind bars, he continued being her dad.
“It was a different relationship, but he was still parenting me from prison,” she says. “He was a big factor in my life.”
Tynecia’s church was also a support to her and her family.
“We didn’t talk about [her father’s incarceration] in church. I sang in the choir; I served in my church at a very young age. I gave my life to the Lord as well. So I had a community.”
A SUPPORT TO OTHERS
Tynecia grew up into a young woman while her father was on death row. In 2014, he was executed.
The season following his death—the grief of losing him, wondering if she would be judged by others, and feeling endless emotions of fear, shame, anxiety—shattered Tynecia.
During this period of hardship and pain, God ministered to her.
“I knew that He wanted me to do something more, something greater with what I was going through,” she says. “The vision that He gave me—He only gave me a glimpse of it a little after my dad was executed.”
In 2021, Tynecia knew it was time to put into action what God was birthing in her—a judgment-free, shame-free organization dedicated to helping other young girls impacted by parental incarceration.
“I started talking more about it and putting pen to paper, just writing things down,” she recalls. “The more I just abided in Him, He just gave me things. I felt ready to speak about it when I knew that God had taken it away. I was still, of course, grieving, but I knew that it was time.”
She called her organization Girls Breaking Chains. Just as her uncles, aunts, and grandmother stood by her through all she experienced, Girls Breaking Chains serves that same purpose, providing young women with mentorship, support, and financial resources for counseling, school expenses, and more.
FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE
A Scripture Tynecia loves is Psalm 139:14, and it’s one she speaks into the young women who seek encouragement through her organization.
“It talks about praising the Lord because you're fearfully and wonderfully made,” she explains. “[God] didn't make any mistakes, you know. I was not a mistake. And that's something that we try to remind the girls.”
Tynecia encourages those raising children with a parent in prison to allow God to carry the heavy load placed on their shoulders.
“Surrender everything to Him,” she says, “day by day, praying and reading His Word. It's not easy, but with Him, it's possible to move forward past the pain of this. When you're going through things without Him, you can't survive. But with Him, He's with you when you go through those deep waters.”
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