My Story: Vickie

A LIFE OF SERVICE

Vickie has worked as a practical nurse in different settings. At one point, she had the opportunity to serve for several years in a local prison for young adult offenders.

“I was always drawn somewhat to the mental health aspects of nursing,” she said, “I had a burden for that, and … heard some really, really sad stories. So often, the young men grew up on the street. They got involved with gangs and drugs to belong to a family, and you heard that over and over.”

Looking back on her work at the prison, Vickie sees that it had been a preparation of sorts for herself, a glimpse of what was to come.

“It just really touched my heart in so many ways because I've seen the importance of the family and how that really was a ripple effect through generations, never knowing that someday I would be on the other side.”

After working a few more years, Vickie and her husband thought about their future. They had both wanted to travel to the national and state parks in an RV, camping their way around the country.

Their plans changed once their granddaughter was born. The baby arrived prematurely and addicted to opiates. Vickie’s home county determined that Vickie’s home was a safer environment for the new baby than the parents’ home. But Vickie’s son and his fiancée were granted custody of their daughter by their county, despite Vickie’s attempts for the courts to allow her granddaughter to stay with her until the baby’s parents were able to care for her. Just weeks later, her granddaughter died.

In one day, Vickie and her husband viewed their granddaughter’s lifeless body at the hospital, saw their son charged with her murder, and received their grandson in their home.

'JUST SAY THE NAME OF JESUS'

Despite decades of caring for others as a trained nurse, Vickie was not prepared for her baby grandson’s condition upon his arrival to her home.

“When Caden came to us, he had a lot of developmental issues,” she said. “He's a heroin baby. … He was left alone with mom a lot. Their lifestyle was very transient. … Numerous times he was left alone for up to a day at a time confined to a crib or pack-and-play.”

After taking their grandson for doctor visits, Vickie and her husband discovered that Caden, at that time 10 months old, had not been introduced to solid foods. He fed only from a bottle and had swallowing and gagging issues, as well as respiratory challenges.

In Caden’s first five months with his grandparents, Vickie learned that, because her grandson had been born addicted to heroin, he could not sleep and instead would stir at almost any sound.

“Early on we just played classic instrumental hymns because that was something that seemed to soothe him,” Vickie recalls. “When I held him, I would softly pray. I remember so often just sitting in the dark rocking him, and I would just say the name of Jesus, because at that time, that's almost all I could utter. I was so broken with grief over my granddaughter, over my son, over Caden. It just was layer upon layers.”

It was for Vickie and her husband a time of leaning solely on God for the strength through this season.

“God really just held me in His arms,” she says. “In many ways, I think Caden and I kind of healed together just trusting that God loved us, that He had a plan, whether I could see it or not, and that He was going to be faithful.”

THERAPY WITH PAPA

Vickie and her husband made sure Caden received the help he needed, traveling hours on a weekly basis to see an early childhood trauma therapist. They also made sure he got lots of fresh air and exercise. The more Caden was outdoors, the more the little boy thrived.

“We lived on 120 acres at that time,” Vickie recalls. “So there was plenty of outside space. We lived on a dirt road and down the road from us was a washed-out little dirt road that had a creek that ran alongside of that. Caden nicknamed it the Muddy Bridge Road.”

The trauma and instability Caden had lived through, even at his young age, had resulted in aggressive behavior. Vickie could not leave him unattended, as he would bang his head or hit himself in the face. One activity that was therapeutic for little Caden was having his grandfather—whom he called Papa— take him to the Muddy Bridge Road, where Caden would throw stones for hours.

“There was no training I had received even as a nurse that made me equipped to handle a child with this many problems or these deeper wounds,” Vickie says.
Caden is 14 years old now. Every month, with his grandparents, he visits his father in prison.

Vickie’s son encourages her in his growing faith in Christ, recently writing her, “God has been refining both of us. In His time, we will have such a testimony that will touch many lives and bring much glory to our Father. He is testing us in the fire of affliction and with Him only will we triumph.”

ANGEL TREE'S SUPPORT AND CONNECTION

When Vickie’s son signed Caden up for Prison Fellowship^® Angel Tree, Vickie had never heard of the program which enables children with incarcerated parents to receive a Christmas gift in their mom or dad’s name, along with a personal note from them.

She even became an Angel Tree^® coordinator at the church she was attending at the time, one year delivering gifts to Angel Tree families with Caden. Another year, their church hosted an open house with cookies, hot chocolate, and Christmas music, and invited families to take photos with their children.

“That's how I was first introduced to Prison Fellowship Angel Tree,” she says. “So that kind of planted a seed that, ‘Oh, this is something I could do’ because I really can relate to that. I had such a burden for the children of incarcerated people. Angel Tree is a great opportunity to reassure [children] of their parents' love, but more important to reassure them of God's love.”

Caden has also attended Angel Tree camp—and loves it.

“He has been an Angel Tree kiddo for three years now and it has been a life-changing experience,” she adds. “I have to tell you, these young men that were his counselors are so phenomenal. He gets post cards from them all year long. Every two or three months, all year long, just checking in on his walk with the Lord and coaching him, telling how much they enjoyed being his counsellor. It's been a blessing.”