My Story: Brandy - Prison Fellowship

I was living in Georgia when I got the call that changed everything. I learned that Child Protective Services would be called to take my then-2-year-old grandson Ashton from his mother’s home in Texas—unless I could pick him up in 20 minutes.

It was 2020, just before the COVID pandemic began. My son, the father, was able to keep Ashton just until I arrived. But my son wasn’t in a place to take care of him. Ashton has been with me ever since.

I had spent a lot of time with Ashton when he was a baby, but taking him to live with me was a whole different story. I learned very quickly that I couldn’t do it alone.

THE FIRST ANGEL TREE CHRISTMAS

My son, Ashton’s father, was incarcerated about eight months after Ashton came to live with me.

About a year ago, when Ashton was 7, I received a letter in the mail from New Bethel AME Church in Lithonia, Georgia, that was participating in Prison Fellowship Angel Tree. They explained that they wanted to sponsor Ashton’s Christmas gift. That was how I found out my son had signed up Ashton for Angel Tree.

We picked the gifts up at the local church. Ashton is really into trains, cars, and remote-controlled things. He received little remote vehicles. He was really excited about it.

ANGEL TREE SPORTS CAMP

Ashton has also attended Angel Tree activities and events here in Atlanta.

The first was a basketball event where Angel Tree gave away tennis shoes and a former NBA player named Brandon Johnson shared his story. They had a little workshop with a lot of basketball drills, and there was a guest speaker. That was really awesome. We got a signature basketball and a backpack.

I was so impressed at all the people who were involved in making that event happen, including the Angel Tree volunteers. Ashton was so excited. He really had a good time with Angel Tree.

The other camp we attended happened this summer. It was a STEM event. My oldest grandson, Eli, attended as well. The kids learned about animals and reptiles. A drone demonstration took place, too. The boys really loved it. Eli and Ashton got a Bluetooth radio that they put together right away when we got home. We really enjoyed that together.

I do everything I can to keep Ashton involved with these kinds of activities. Some of the same volunteers from the sports camp were at the STEM camp and know Ashton now! They knew Ashton when he arrived. He’s very memorable and was hugging all the volunteers.

FINDING COMMUNITY AND SUPPORT

Finding support has been a challenge for me as a grandparent raising my grandson. I don’t really have family here in Georgia, so having a trustworthy, helpful community is very vital for me.

Having events where Ashton can socialize with children from similar situations is also very important to me. Just having a support system here is a priority.

I recently began attending Prison Fellowship’s online support groups for parents and guardians. It’s a weekly group that I religiously try to attend.

I actually have two sons in prison now, one in Texas and one in Arkansas. I work in corporate America, and it’s very difficult to talk to people about my sons’ incarcerations because there’s a stigma about prison.

This support group is amazing. At first, it was difficult to open up in the group because of the fear that people would judge me. I did not know what to expect, but I thought, “Well, I am carrying this burden by myself. My son is stressing me out. What is the worst thing they could think or say about me?”

I was so stressed out and decided to just jump into the group. All these women have family members in the same kind of place as my sons. We all talk to each other. There are situations where we all can relate. Often, when I share about my experience, somebody else will mention that the same thing happened to their family.

We all get to know one another, even though we are all from different parts. It is like we have that one connection. We all have a family member that is incarcerated. We have things in common, and we have not even met one another in person.

'I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO IF I WAS NOT CONNECTED TO A CHURCH'

We attend a local church, and it is very helpful. I accepted the Lord a long time ago and trust Him.

I think it is vital to be a part of a church family. It helps Ashton to understand about Jesus and pray about certain things. He is very in tune to the Lord. I do not know what I would do if I was not connected to a church.

I have a Bible study group that I go to at church, and they understand the dynamics with my grandson and my son. I talk to a small group of people at church, and they know. We all pray for one another.

HOPE FOR GRANDPARENTS

Nobody really understands what it’s like raising your grandchildren until they’ve done it. I really do not want to talk to anyone about what is going on because they are going to point the finger. There will always be someone who will say, “Well, you need to make your children be responsible, and you should not be raising their kids.”

But you have to do what God is putting on your heart. I could have easily gotten that phone call telling me to come pick up my grandson and said, “Well, it is not my problem. Call somebody else.” But God planted a seed in me a long time ago when I accepted His precious gift, and I have a heart for children.

To other grandparents who may be just starting out on a similar journey, raising their grandchildren, I would say it is very difficult in this day and age. Do not do it by yourself. It is very important not to do this alone—and you don’t have to. And remember there are others who are standing in your same shoes.

I would definitely say get plugged into a community like the online support group that I am a part of. Find someone that can relate to you and help you in your journey. There is always someone out there that God will connect you to, that you can relate to, that will help you when you really need help.

I’m overwhelmed with joy when my grandson attends the Angel Tree events. He gets so excited. He lights up, especially when he sees those volunteers that he has seen previously, and they know him.

That is so rewarding from a grandparent’s perspective. I appreciate every Angel Tree ministry. I just want to say that I pray for the ministry. I pray they will continue this because it is making a difference in these children’s and parents’ lives.

I am appreciative that they are here, because who else is going to do it if you all do not? I do not know anyone else that is making this big of an impact on parents and children like Angel Tree is.

A WORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT

The Scripture that I have hidden in my heart, that gives me strength, is Joshua 1:8: “Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.”

Another verse I cling to is 1 Corinthians 9:24: “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.”

I know that God has put me here on Earth for a reason: to run the race. And I know that this journey with my grandson and me is a part of that race. I just have to keep on running. Whatever He puts before me, I just know that I have to accept the things that I have no control over.

I had no control over what happened that brought my grandson into my home, but I know that I accepted it. So, I am just going to finish the race and try to run it, and trust and depend on Jesus to pull me through. Because He has been there with me and my little sidekick.