SECRETS CONCEALED

Like the one she had created, Michelle's family of origin looked good on the outside. But her mother was an alcoholic whose depression overshadowed their home. Michelle's father, whom her mother had divorced when Michelle was 6, was also an alcoholic and frequently violent. Growing up, Michelle endured physical and sexual abuse but did not tell a soul. The message she received was that secrets should be concealed. At 13, she began numbing her pain with alcohol and promiscuity.

"It rooted from wanting to be loved," Michelle explains.

Her adolescence was one of risk-taking and living in the moment. But when she got pregnant at age 19, she decided it was time to settle down.

Michelle took a job doing the books for a local business. In 1988, she married her baby's father, a man 13 years her senior. But he turned out to be much like her own father—angry and abusive. When she unexpectedly became pregnant a second time, he forced her to get an abortion. Michelle became suicidal, and they divorced after 10 painful years together.

Then Michelle became involved with a much younger man. She loved their life of fun and the new son they welcomed into the world. However, they became entangled in drug addiction, and after a while, he became abusive. In 2006, Michelle asked him to leave. Later, she discovered he had been unfaithful with her best friend. She was devastated.

Right away, Sue and three other women from church began regularly visiting Michelle and sending her letters. Their church participated in Prison Fellowship Angel Tree^® Christmas, which delivers gifts to children on behalf of their incarcerated parents. Sue made sure Michelle’s 11-year-old son received a gift. Sue also invited Michelle’s son to church, where he heard and responded to the Gospel.

During their weekly calls, Michelle would read to her son from the dictionary, doing her best to keep nurturing his mind. In turn, he shared truths he was learning at Sunday school.

"He started telling me about Jesus," says Michelle. "My son led me to Christ—and it was all due to him receiving that Angel Tree gift."

Michelle's church friends reached out to her family, too. They raked leaves for her elderly mom and enfolded her sisters into their community. Michelle was stunned by their hearts of empathy and selflessness.

"I never met people who loved me that didn't want something from me," she says. "Just to have their friendship with no expectations for me was so freeing."

As Michelle grew in Christ, she started facing the pain that lay beneath her poor choices. She recognized her anger at her mother for leaving her with an abusive father; she grieved the promiscuity that resulted from that abuse.

"When I was in prison, it was the first time that I was allowed to get real with my feelings," she says. "I was able to look at myself as Jesus does, as a child—and to love that child in me and heal the hurts of that child."

While in prison, Michelle helped others sign up for Angel Tree^® Christmas. Once out, she wanted to continue that mission. In 2013, she became an Angel Tree coordinator at her church, a role that blossomed into her own ministry, Beacon of Light.

Through Beacon of Light, Michelle ministers to Angel Tree caregivers through friendship, practical help, and discipleship. Michelle partners with local churches to take moms on retreats. She connects families to Angel Tree camping and provides backpacks, sleeping bags, and transportation to camp.

"What is love?" Michelle asks. "It's remembering that everybody is made in the image of God, and when you love them like they are and provide accountability to them and a second chance, the possibilities are endless."

Out of her passion for second chances, Michelle recently spoke at her church during Second Chance^® Month, a nationwide campaign to unlock second chances for the tens of millions of Americans with criminal records who have paid their debt to society. Michelle encouraged her fellow church members to help returning citizens educate themselves about policies that stand in the way of flourishing.

"As believers who have experienced the ultimate second chance by receiving God's forgiveness into our hearts, we are compelled to act and advocate for justice reform that provides full restoration," she said.

Since her release, Michelle has repaid all the money she owed, including back taxes to the IRS and New York state. She owns her own home, and she is passionate about financial transparency. She has required her son to file tax returns since he started mowing lawns at age 14. Beacon of Light is audited yearly. In Michelle's mind, in the light is the only place to be.

Her ministry has grown to support not only families affected by incarceration, but those affected by the justice system.

"We’ve walked alongside former corrections officers, gone into local county jails and prisons, and deepened our connections to local recovery groups," Michelle says. She also continues to serve as an Angel Tree coordinator through her church and ministry.

From her family secrets of addiction and abuse that go back generations, Michelle has learned that "history repeats itself until you talk about it. It's like you're in a cold, dark, damp place, and mold grows. But then when you shine light on it and bring warmth to it, all that dysfunction dies."

Though she could have chosen to keep her incarceration story a secret, Michelle has followed the opposite path—living in the light, offering help and hope. And as a result, children, families, and churches are being transformed, to the glory of God.