Shame ravaged Laura after her dad’s arrest. That experience drives her to advocate for others.
I am blessed to have a special relationship with my father. We go to church together and talk constantly.
But that wasn’t always the case.
When I was 9 years old, my father was arrested, and my world turned upside down. I felt deep, soul-crushing shame, and I didn’t want to talk about it with anyone. But one day, I decided to share my story and have seen great benefits from doing so.
PERSPECTIVE SHIFT
My grandmother and I stood helplessly outside in the driveway of my Connecticut home as police tore apart my room, including my mattress. We later learned they were searching for evidence in an arms manufacturing investigation. But at the time, we didn’t know what was happening.
My dad and brother were taken into custody that day. Later my uncle and two cousins would be arrested as well. The story was public, and everybody at school knew. All of my family members who were arrested served time in prison. Their sentences ranged from one to 10 years. My dad received six years.
My family and I anxiously waited for the Bureau of Prisons to decide where my dad would serve his sentence. He was relocated to another city in Connecticut and then to Pennsylvania.
The distance made it difficult to visit him. Some years, I only saw him once. But each time we were together, I committed to memory how he had changed, especially physically. I would make it a point to notice the little things including what his hands looked like.
My father served his time and was released, but I couldn’t stomach talking about what had happened to me and my family.
That is, until I was given an assignment in my high school English class.
OPENING UP
I was assigned to write a paper about who I am and what contributed to that identity. I decided to write about my dad going to prison because of how much that experience shaped my childhood. I wanted to share what I went through, how lonely I was as a child without my father, and how glad I was to have him back.
I was afraid of how people would react, and this wasn’t helped by the fact that I had to read my paper out loud to the class. My fear subsided greatly when a girl came up to me and shared that her dad had just been arrested. Opening up allowed me to come alongside her during a difficult situation I knew all too well.
I realized how powerful sharing my story can be, not only for myself but for someone going through similar circumstances. Since then, I have felt empowered to share with others and am even pursuing a Ph.D. at the University of Connecticut to study how families talk about incarceration and the shame they often experience.
FINDING FAITH
My dad was raised Catholic, but religion was never a priority for him until he went to prison. There, he dove deep into his faith by reading the Bible cover to cover and attending Mass every chance he got. But it took some time for me to realize his faith would be an integral part of his life going forward.
I was hesitant to embrace my dad’s newfound faith. Part of that was me having a lot of anxiety about what might go wrong next. I began exploring my faith at the University of Connecticut’s Catholic Center. Through that journey, I learned that I can lean on my present faith, not my past anxiety.
FAITH AND ADVOCACY
Embracing my faith meant searching for an outlet in which to put it into practice. I searched for nonprofit organizations and was drawn to Prison Fellowship® because of its faith-forward focus. I was grateful for the opportunity to become a Justice Ambassador. It has helped me learn how to articulate what I believe and advocate for justice that restores.
As a Justice Ambassador I was able to advocate for legislation concerning supervised release for federal prisoners. I met with a legislative correspondent in my congressman’s office and was heartened by the meeting. She heard what I had to say on the issue, and I left encouraged.
What happened to me as a young girl is just part of my story. It crushed me for a time, but my present relationship with my dad makes my heart leap for joy. Without him, I wouldn’t be the woman I am today. I am blessed to see his resilience and mountain-moving faith on display every day.
RAISE YOUR VOICE!
We encourage Christians who are experienced in advocacy, looking to learn more, or interested in increasing their involvement to apply to the Justice Ambassador program. Justice Ambassadors' voices can be an effective tool to inspire the Church, change the culture, and advance justice that restores.
Become a Justice Ambassador with Prison Fellowship today!
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