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Searching for a Happy Ending

November 7, 2018 by Emily Harris Greene

  • SEARCHING FOR A HAPPY ENDING

    One Daughter's Quest to Find Her Destiny

    by Emily Harris Greene

PART ONE | PART TWO

PART ONE VIDEO | PART TWO VIDEO

"Annie, what's this I hear about you going into prison this weekend?"

Annie smiled at the question from her colleague, a fellow teacher at Central High School in South Dakota. It was true. On her weekends, Annie would visit and minister to female prisoners, listening to their stories and needs and praying for them.

"Why would you want to do that?" the other woman asked incredulously.

"Well, believe it or not, years ago, I was in prison," Annie said.

The teacher scoffed. "No, you weren't," she argued. "You do not look like somebody who was ever in prison."

"Actually, this is what we look like," Annie responded, "once we've been changed by Jesus."

PART ONE: A TURBULENT CHILDHOOD

Annie Goebel was born in St. John's, Newfoundland, Canada, on the cliffs of the North Atlantic Sea. She likes to say that the setting of her birth was indicative of her childhood— "very violent, very turbulent, very cold."

Her family was large and unhappy. Annie's parents were married only after her father date-raped her mother. Her father was a cold man, Annie recalls: "When he drank, he was very violent. And he drank a lot."

Her mother was a Christian and did her best to keep the peace in the house. Because Annie's father preferred quiet on Sunday mornings, the children and their mother would sneak out of the house and go to church. Church was Annie's safe haven. It was where she learned about Jesus.

"I believed everything I learned about [Jesus]," she says. "But when I left that church, Jesus didn't come home with me. And I couldn't blame Him. My house was filled with pain and darkness—why would He come there?"


'When I left that church, Jesus didn't come home with me. And I couldn't blame Him. My house was filled with pain and darkness—why would He come there?'


THE RUNAWAY

Annie's father was in the Air Force and was frequently moved to different military bases around the globe. It was during this nomadic time that Annie began to question her life. The world was so much bigger than her family—there had to be something more out there. Something better.

By the time the family relocated to Texas, Annie had decided that she could take care of herself. So, when her father barged into the house one night brandishing his gun and threatening to kill all the children, she decided it was time to leave.

"I went out the bedroom window to look for that life, that fairytale—where there was love," she says. "But as we all know, life on the streets for a young girl is no fairytale. There's no prince in shining armor to save you."

Instead, life on the streets was bleak. Annie begged for spare change so she could eat. She was often arrested and sent to jail and juvenile detention. And many times, she found herself in dangerous situations at the mercy of strangers. After a particularly traumatic experience, Annie decided she had had enough.

"This [life] wasn't working," she explains. "So, I turned myself in, and I went home—15 years old—to find out that I was pregnant."


'Life on the streets for a young girl is no fairytale. There's no prince in shining armor to save you.'


UNLOVED, ALONE, AND WITHOUT VALUE

Life on the streets was scary and dangerous, but not much had changed back home. Although she was looking for safety and stability, Annie found herself pushed away as soon as she returned to her cold and turbulent family.

After realizing that her daughter was pregnant out of wedlock, Annie's mother sent her wayward daughter to a home for unwed mothers. Annie's son was immediately put up for adoption upon his birth. The records were sealed—Annie was to never see him again.

The abuse from her family and others, life on the streets, and the experience of giving up her baby were harrowing for the young teenage girl. Annie believed three lies about herself: that she was unloved, that she was alone, and that she had no value. It seemed like no matter what she did, she could never shake this identity. And these lies were a breeding ground for her destructive behavior and choices.

annie goebel tattoo

Annie believed three lies about herself: that she was unloved, alone, and had no value.


'AT THE BOTTOM OF MY PIT'

Her father and mother left Texas not long after the birth of Annie's son, but the now 16-year-old refused to leave the state.

"I was going to be my own adult, and I was going to take care of myself," Annie says. "I didn't need them. And so, I dropped out of school, got a job, and started living my life my way."

But those destructive lies that Annie believed about herself infected every decision she made. Once again, her life spiraled down further and further. She took drugs and drank alcohol to cover her pain. She bounced from one bad relationship to another and had job after job. Finally, one night in South Dakota, Annie couldn't go on any longer.

I found myself at the bottom of my pit. I realized one night that I was hopeless—that I had become a statistic. That society now considered me a throwaway. I would never amount to anything. I had no education—I had dropped out of school. I was living with a drug dealer, [and] I was strung out on drugs. Anybody who had ever known me or wondered about me probably figured that I was dead or in prison by now. I was at the bottom of my pit.


'I realized one night that I was hopeless—that I had become a statistic. That society now considered me a throwaway. I would never amount to anything.'


JOY AND HOPE IN THE DARKNESS

At her lowest point, Annie felt that her dream of having a loving family and a warm, secure home was lost forever. She had tried so hard to live life on her terms, but she couldn't save herself. Nor could she rely on anyone else to come and rescue her.

And then, the tiniest flame of hope sparked in her darkness: Memories of those Sunday services with her mother and siblings came to her, and she remembered Jesus.

"I remembered that I had always believed in Him," Annie says. "Now was the time to maybe ask Him for help."

She wasn't sure how to ask Him, but as she stood under the stars in the Black Hills, Annie cried out, "Jesus, please save me. I can't do it anymore. I just keep making it worse. Save me. I need You."

There were no heavenly angel choruses, no voice from heaven. The world was as it always had been. Nothing had changed, and yet Annie felt joyful.

"I had no idea what was going to happen, but I just knew something was going to happen. Jesus was going to save me … I didn't know for sure what that meant, but I knew He could do it."

Four days later, a warrant was issued for Annie’s arrest. She was going to prison.


'I realized one night that I was hopeless—that I had become a statistic. That society now considered me a throwaway. I would never amount to anything.'


PART TWO: DAUGHTER OF DESTINY

When Annie prayed that night in South Dakota, she didn't know how Jesus would save her—she just knew that He could. Annie was now mother to two little girls, with a third on the way. Not only did Annie need to be saved from her addiction and troubled life, but so did her children. Before entering prison, Annie had already placed her two daughters into the care of others; now it seemed the child she carried would be placed into child services at birth.

Being separated from her children "was very traumatic." Even so, God was still there with Annie. "Thankfully, God answered my prayers, and I was released early," she shares. "I was able to keep my baby, and I was able to get my toddler, and even my older daughter back, and start raising them on my own at home. So that was a miracle, and I was so, so happy about that."

DISCOVERING TRUTH

Annie had believed that she was unloved, alone, and without value. In the past, she had relied solely on herself. But this time was different.

"I ran to a church when I got out of prison," Annie says. "In that church, a group of women wrapped their arms around me and mentored me and began to teach me how to be a godly mom."

Her new Christian sisters discipled her. She and her daughters began studying the Word of God together. And as she did, those three old lies that had once held Annie in bondage to addiction and self-destruction crumbled.

"I began to believe the truth. I began to understand that I was loved, I wasn't alone, and I did have value."


'I began to believe the truth. I began to understand that I was loved, I wasn't alone, and I did have value.'


A NEW IDENTITY, A NEW PURPOSE

"God put in me a thirst for education," she says. Her criminal record threatened to hold her back, but Annie trusted that the God who had saved her had a plan for her life that was bigger than she or anyone else could imagine. Annie pursued her own education and got her degree in teaching.

She homeschooled her girls, putting her degree to good use while bonding with her daughters. When her daughters wanted to go to public school, an open position for a substitute teacher allowed Annie to continue teaching and be near her children. Even though she had a criminal record, God's favor was upon her. After a year of subbing, Annie became a full-time teacher at the high school.

God continued to show Annie just how much He loved and valued her. But He wasn't done with her yet.


Her criminal record threatened to hold her back, but Annie trusted that the God who had saved her had a plan for her life that was bigger than she or anyone else could imagine.


ANSWERING THE CALL

One night, Annie found herself listening to man who had a powerful vision for the incarcerated women in America. The man, Mel Goebel, was starting a prison ministry just for women called Daughters of Destiny.

"He felt God was calling out women who had been in prison and were now walking victoriously with Jesus to help start and build this ministry," Annie says. "That night God pricked my heart."

It had been years since Annie had been in a prison. The thought of returning to that setting weighed on her heart. She worried that she was going backward instead of forward with her life. But she could not deny that God wanted her to serve in prison ministry.

I knew that [God] was calling me to do this, to share my story of hope with women, and I knew now ... that I was valuable, not in spite of my past but because of my past. And so, I then responded to the call to get involved in prison ministry and help build Daughters of Destiny.


'I knew now that I was valuable, not in spite of my past but because of my past.'


GOD'S BIG PLAN FOR A LITTLE MINISTRY

Annie hit the ground running with Daughters of Destiny. She volunteered with the ministry in her spare time, continuing to work at her daughters' high school. At this time, she also got her master's degree in education and curriculum. It became obvious with each passing day just how much of a hand God had on Annie's life—her education and her experiences made her an invaluable part of the Daughters of Destiny team.

For 10 years, Annie and Mel—now married—led the charge to bring the Good News to incarcerated women. Soon, Annie was running the largest women's-only prison ministry in the United States, and she needed help.

"We need to start praying that God will bring forward another couple—maybe another ministry—that would want to take on Daughters of Destiny," Annie told Mel.

That's when James J. Ackerman, the president and CEO of Prison Fellowship®, met with Annie to discuss acquiring Daughters of Destiny as part of Prison Fellowship's women's ministry. One June 30, 2017, Prison Fellowship acquired Daughters of Destiny.

"It's so wonderful that God would take that little ministry that was started with just a few women [that] grew and grew and grew," Annie says, "and then He would take it and make it even bigger and better through Prison Fellowship. I think that's such a wonderful blessing."

Today, Annie is the speakers bureau program director of church mobilization for Prison Fellowship.


'It's so wonderful that God would take that little ministry that was started with just a few women [that] grew and grew and grew, and then He would take it and make it even bigger and better through Prison Fellowship. I think that's such a wonderful blessing.'


daughters of destiny in prison

A FAMILY RESTORED

"Above all this, though, one of my greatest achievements in life, is being a godly mom," Annie shares.

Raising her three daughters in a warm, secure, and loving home and seeing them follow Jesus in their own lives is the fulfillment of the many prayers and dreams Annie had as a little girl. But God had even bigger plans for the restoration of Annie's life:

Thirty-eight years after I gave birth to my son, I met him for the first time. It was through a series of divine appointments that I could have never made happen that God brought him into my life, and now he is part of my life. So, my three beautiful daughters, and now my son—we're all together, and God is so good. He restores, and He transforms.


'God is so good. He restores, and He transforms.'


Tagged With: South Dakota, Texas, Video, Women's Ministry

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About Emily Harris Greene

Emily Harris Greene is an editor and writer. She is based in Virginia. Read More Stories by Emily Harris Greene

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