Prison Fellowship

  • DONATE
    • One-Time
    • Monthly
    • Angel Tree
    • Other Ways to Give
  • GET INVOLVED
    • All Options
    • Subscribe
    • Angel Tree Christmas
    • Start a Fundraiser
    • Pray With Us
    • Justice Action Center
    • Share on Social
Search
  • STORIES
    • Stories
    • Blog
    • Videos
    • The Restoration Series [Videos]
  • WHAT WE DO
    • Why Help Prisoners?
    • What We Do
    • In-Prison
      • Prison Fellowship Academy
      • In-Prison Programs
      • Hope Events
      • Inside Journal
      • Women’s Ministry
      • Create: New Beginnings
    • Angel Tree
      • Register your church or group for Angel Tree
      • Prison Fellowship Angel Tree
      • Angel Tree Christmas
      • Angel Tree Camping
      • Angel Tree Sports Camp
    • Justice Reform
      • Justice Reform
      • Second Chance Month
      • News & Updates
      • Sign the Justice Declaration
      • Get a Copy of Outrageous Justice
    • Warden Exchange
    • Church Partners
    • Corporate Partnerships
    • Preparing Prisoners for Reentry
    • Research and Evaluation
      • Good Citizenship Model®
  • RESOURCES
    • Subscribe to Our Email
    • Support for Friends and Family of Prisoners
      • Resources for Friends and Family of Prisoners
      • Coping with Incarceration
      • Resources for Prisoners
      • Resources for Children of Prisoners
      • Supporting Successful Prisoner Reentry
      • Subscribe To The Hope Connection
    • Resources for Churches and Volunteers
      • Resources for Churches and Volunteers
      • In-Prison Ministry
      • Reentry Ministry
      • Family Ministry
      • Justice Reform
      • Mentoring Ministry
    • Angel Tree Coordinator Training
    • Resources for Chaplains
    • Resources for D.O.C.
    • Justice Reform Resources
    • Create: New Beginnings Book
    • Share on Social
  • ABOUT US
    • Our Beliefs
    • Mission & Vision
    • Financials
      • Financials
      • 2024 Annual Report
    • Employment
    • Contact Us
    • In The News
    • Leadership
    • Chuck Colson
      • About Chuck Colson
      • The Charles Colson Hope Awards

Finding Family After 40 Years Behind Bars

September 6, 2023 by Lou Haviland

  • FINDING FAMILY AFTER 40 YEARS BEHIND BARS

    Helen’s life sentence prevents her from being with her family, but it doesn’t stop her from building one behind bars.

    By Lexi Aggen

Helen* was born during the “beginning of the end” of World War II, in the winter of 1944. The doctor attending her birth was drunk on moonshine, the gallon jug still sitting on the dining room table as her mother labored.

She often asks herself if it was any wonder her life wasn’t a straight path.

For the first 10 years of Helen’s life, she was raised on her grandfather’s dirt farm in southern rural Alabama. The Great Depression and World War II had depleted the country of resources, and those in her community deeply felt the impacts.

“My family lived by hard work, sweat, tears, and the Word of the Lord,” she recalls.

FAMILY TIES

Helen’s parents raised her and her siblings with traditional values like honesty, obedience, and respect for one’s elders. Her family regularly attended a Missionary Baptist church. Each Sunday brought lessons on the hellfire and brimstone that awaited sinners. While she knew her parents loved her, as the third of eight children, Helen remembers feeling overlooked as a child.

In 1955, her family sold the farm and moved to Florida. Life looked dramatically different then. They had neighbors who lived next door instead of down the road. Helen saw a TV for the first time. Internally, Helen was changing too. She felt a resistance building toward the faith in which her parents raised her—she couldn’t bring herself to believe in a God she thought punished people for breaking rules.

Helen wanted out of her childhood home, but not just because of her religious upbringing.  She also disliked the strict lifestyle her father enforced in the house. At 18, Helen moved out and got married.

On the outside, the marriage looked fine. But Helen was learning that the man she had married had a secret: He was an alcoholic who was prone to violence. Helen herself began keeping his alcoholism, and the abuse, a secret. The shame and embarrassment of it was too great for her to bear. Yet despite their problems, the couple had five children over the next 20 years. It was during these years that Helen developed a faith in God that sustained her.

A LIFELONG SENTENCE

In 1982, two things occurred that would change Helen’s life forever: Her marriage ended, and she committed a crime that resulted in a life sentence. Her faith would become the rock throughout her years in prison, propelling her forward.

“I could not have done one day in the system without the Lord in my life,” she says.

Today, Helen has served 41 years of that life sentence—and the woman she is now is nearly unrecognizable compared to the “insecure, insignificant … naïve country girl” she remembers being when she was first imprisoned.

Over the course of her sentence, Helen has dedicated herself to taking part in every program she could, from Bible studies and church services to educational and mentoring programs—and more.

She applied herself fully to every program, often going above and beyond the expectations set for her. But something was missing.

Helen family

"I could not have done one day in the system without the Lord in my life."
—Helen


“The thing that plagued me,” she said, “was that I had no plan, did not know my purpose, or where I was going in life.”

Helen’s relationship with her children has changed throughout her time in prison as well. Her ex-husband assumed custody of her four youngest children when she was incarcerated. Her eldest was 18 years old at the time of her crime and was charged as her co-defendant. He served 2 1/2 years in prison. In addition to the guilt she felt for her crime, Helen carried a heavy heart for the hurt she had caused her children.

AN EXTENDED FAMILY

Initially, Helen’s ex-husband limited her contact with her younger children. But as her children grew older and gained independence, she was able to connect with them. Today, Helen has a loving and caring relationship with all five of her children. Because they all live far away, visitations are not always an option. But they are always eager to hear updates from her on phone calls and in letters.

Helen now has six grandchildren, and she hasn’t been able to meet most of them. But that hasn’t stopped Helen from being a “grandmother” to those around her.

“I’ve been locked up 40 years,” she says, “so over the years I was not with my daughters … but I have had young women that have been like daughters to me, and I’ve had young women that have been like granddaughters to me.”

Helen believes the reason she can speak into so many young women’s lives is because of her ability to listen well. She supports the women by providing a safe ear and friendly counsel. The women around her know she will tell them when they have made a mistake and affirm them if they are on a steady path.

Many of the women Helen has grown close to have since left prison, but they keep regular contact with her through phone calls, emails, and photographs. Upon release, many have gone on to have successful careers, some working for doctors or in real estate.

“I’m very proud of them,” she says. “They’re my success stories.”

Not every woman who Helen mentors is successful on the outside—but that doesn’t stop Helen from loving them when they return to prison.

“They always come back to me,” Helen says, “and of course I still receive them back. We all make mistakes.”


"I’ve been locked up 40 years, so over the years I was not with my daughters … but I have had young women that have been like daughters to me."
—Helen


FINDING PURPOSE IN PRISON

Helen’s search for purpose continued throughout her 40 years in prison, even as she participated in numerous programs and mentored women. She was transferred to a different facility where she learned about the Prison Fellowship Academy®.

The Academy is a holistic yearlong program that allows participants to reflect on their lives in a community environment. In the Academy, participants engage with biblically based curriculum that imparts the Values of Good Citizenship: integrity, community, productivity, restoration, responsibility, and affirmation.

Helen knew she needed to be in the next class—that there was something different about this program than all the others she had participated in. She was accepted into the program, and the class of 20 women have become a family to her.

“We’ve built a bond that I know I’ll carry with me for the rest of my life,” she says. “It’s beautiful.”

The relationships Helen built through the Academy aren’t the only benefits she gained after joining the class.

Through the curriculum, Helen began seeing her own worth—something she was unable to do for most of her life. In the spring of 2024, Helen graduated from the Academy.


"We’ve built a bond that I know I’ll carry with me for the rest of my life. It’s beautiful."
—Helen


A PURPOSE-DRIVEN VOICE

When she first came to prison, Helen wasn’t the type of person to speak out for the Lord. She knew and had a relationship with Him, but she kept her faith to herself. Now she has confidence and stands firm in her faith, sharing it with all those around her.

Most importantly though, Helen noted that it was only through the Academy that she realized the purpose that had been missing in her life.

“Did I have to come all this way, do all these years, to find that my purpose is to be obedient to God’s calling and to do His will?” she asks. “I do not believe that anything happens by accident. God brought me to this place, to this time.”

Her advice to women who are facing prison for the first time: Get with positive people, go to chapel services, read the Bible, and take educational programs.

Helen has a parole hearing coming up and hopes to return home to be with her three surviving siblings, children, and grandchildren—but unlike before, she is confident in her purpose.

*Name changed to protect privacy

HEAR MORE OF HELEN'S STORY BY WATCHING THE VIDEO BELOW

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5CwNHKRF_4

"I do not believe that anything happens by accident. God brought me to this place, to this time."
—Helen


Tagged With: Grandparent's Day, Prison Fellowship Academy

DID YOU ENJOY THIS STORY?

Make sure you don't miss out on any of our incredible transformation stories! Sign up to receive our weekly newsletter, and you'll get great content delivered directly to your inbox.

YOUR HELP IS NEEDED NOW MORE THAN EVER

Men and women in prison are looking for hope. And nothing provides hope like the living Word of God. The demand for Bibles and Christian content is at an all-time high. Will you help us meet the need? Please give generously today.


DONATE

About Lexi Aggen

Lexi Aggen is a writer and editor at Prison Fellowship. She graduated from James Madison University and is based in Georgia. Read More Stories by Lexi Aggen

Join our online community

Facebook Facebook X (Twitter) X (Twitter) Instagram Instagram YouTube YouTube LinkedIn LinkedIn
PF®
PFM®

RECOMMENDED LINKS

  • Ways to Donate
  • Inspirational Stories
  • Angel Tree
  • Prison Fellowship Academy
  • Justice Reform

RESOURCES

  • For Families & Friends of Prisoners
  • For Churches & Angel Tree Volunteers
  • Warden Exchange

JOIN RESTORATION PARTNERS AND WITNESS GOD RESTORE LIVES

Restoration Partners give monthly to bring life-changing prison ministry programs to incarcerated men and women across the country.

 

JOIN NOW
  • CONTACT US
  • EMPLOYMENT
  • PRIVACY
  • FINANCIALS
© 2025 PRISON FELLOWSHIP®

Angel Tree®, Angel Tree Camping®, Angel Tree Sports CampTM, and Warden Exchange® are programs of Prison Fellowship®.