From Shock and Disbelief to Finding Purpose

March 20, 2024 by Steven Anthony

When Matt felt the unexplainable inner stirring, he had just begun serving 25 years for vehicular manslaughter. He was attending a revival service at his Iowa prison—an event similar to what Prison Fellowship^® now calls Hope Events.

Somewhere amidst the worship and the Gospel message, Matt felt drawn to put his faith in Jesus Christ. Looking back, he now realizes the Holy Spirit was at work inside him.

“Talking about it gives me goosebumps,” he says. “That’s when I was spiritually reborn, and it was a beautiful time in my life despite being in prison.”

Matt credits his mom and dad for his positive upbringing in Cedar Rapids, Iowa.

“I couldn’t ask for better parents,” he says. “They invested a lot into [my] education.” He went to private school where he excelled academically and athletically.

Things changed when Matt went to college. He broke up with his girlfriend and lost interest in sports. Matt began experiencing depression and anxiety. These feelings were compounded by a lack of goals and direction for his future.

“I didn’t really understand at the time what I was going through,” Matt admits. “I had these negative emotions that I wasn’t really dealing with in the right way, because of my lack of maturity.”

Matt tried dealing with his emotions by distracting himself with partying and chasing girls. One night, Matt drove home drunk from a bar. He passed out and ran a stop sign, resulting in a bad collision.

“I stepped out of the vehicle, and everything was a haze,” Matt recalls. “It was a nightmare.” He remembers thinking, This isn’t real. This isn’t really happening.

Matt looked into the other car and saw a woman struggling to keep her eyes open. At the police station after the crash, Matt found out she had died.

“I fell to my knees and cried,” Matt says. “I couldn’t believe it. I was in a state of disbelief, a state of shock.”

Matt made bond, but his attorney told him he could go to prison for 25 years. Matt’s deepened depression made it harder for him to see any hope. In March 2003, he was sentenced to the exact term he was warned about—25 years.

Upon starting his sentence, Matt endured a difficult four months at an Iowa prison.

“I wasn’t in any physical danger or anything like that, but it was just a really dark place,” Matt says. But then he was transferred to another facility where he got involved in the Prison Fellowship Academy^®.

“I’m really going to make the best of my time,” Matt determined. “I want to take advantage of everything, anything that I can do to better myself.”

After Matt gave his life to Christ at the revival service, it took a mindset shift for him to fully comprehend the new direction of his life. “I never had thought about God as a relationship, as a personal God,” Matt says. “I always thought about God as somebody to be feared and revered.”

Walking alongside like-minded people helped with that shift in his mindset—as did reading the Bible daily. Eventually, Matt’s passion for his newfound faith leveled off, and sometimes he battled doubts. He brought these questions into the Academy, where peers and volunteers were understanding and willing to discuss them.

Despite his questions, Matt didn’t stray from his mission to learn and become a better person.

“There were certain moments, these 'aha!' moments, certain revelations that would come to me, where God would speak to me,” Matt explains.

Matt specifically credits a study by Prison Fellowship founder Chuck Colson for moving him forward. The subject was shame and carrying past burdens. Matt was struck by his inability to forgive himself for the crash while at the same time realizing he was forgiven by God through Jesus’ death on the cross.

“That was a huge pivotal turning point where I was able to go forward from that and really forgive myself for what happened,” Matt explains.

The forgiveness didn’t stop there. The mother of the woman who died reached out, and she and Matt communicated through a victim’s advocate in the department of corrections. Their correspondence eventually led to the mother visiting Matt in prison.

“That was very surreal,” Matt admits. He wanted to tell her how sorry he was, but she quickly reassured him that she already knew. Matt says their conversation felt natural and that she simply wanted to get to know him.

Matt was released after serving seven years and says he had an easier time than many do adjusting to life on the outside.

“I was able to get a job. I had housing secured. I had [the] support of my brothers and my parents,” Matt says.

Matt was also able to complete the schoolwork he began behind bars. He took liberal arts classes in addition to business classes. He earned a bachelor’s degree and entrepreneurial management certificate. He was working as a sales rep but continued his education through a Master of Business Analytics program and got his degree. He’s been working in that field ever since and enjoys what he does.

Matt’s newfound freedom led to him finding something else—love.

He was working at a hospital in the radiology department when a certain woman caught his eye. Allison would eventually become his wife, but getting there was a process.

They worked at the same hospital until she went somewhere else. Matt turned to online dating and found her profile. He admits there was some hesitation on her part because he was still rebuilding his life after being released.

But she saw beyond his past and they started dating. Matt knew she was the one for him.

They got married and bought a house. They eventually moved to a nearby town. Matt found a church where one of his mentors attended and they began attending, as well.

However, Matt and Allison went through a rough patch in their marriage—so rough, that Matt thought they would get divorced. His ongoing battle with depression contributed to their struggles. He looked to the past to help him through it.

“I started really going back to everything I had learned,” Matt says. “I had strayed away from my faith, and I was really more consumed with running the race and being successful. I think God really got my attention.”

That attention-grabbing moment included a desire to return to prison, this time as an Academy volunteer. Matt connected with a prison ministry manager at Prison Fellowship and completed his training so he could serve the men at the Anamosa State Penitentiary.

Matt got to talk with the warden, and it inspired him.

“This has been a dark place for a while,” the warden explained. “I’m confident that you guys are bringing the light here.”

As a volunteer, Matt is most excited when it comes time to break off into small groups.

“That’s where the magic happens,” he says. “Things are said that really resonate. People are sharing their hearts, and these men don’t hold back.”

When he’s at the Academy, Matt encourages the men by telling them to never downplay the impact they can have outside of prison. He adds that the men inside inspire him as well. They give him motivation in his own life.

“It still drives me to this day to join God in His work and to be able to understand what He’s doing spiritually, supernaturally—how He’s orchestrating things,” Matt says.

Pouring into and listening to the men has also helped Matt find his purpose.

“My calling is through Christ,” he says. “It’s to be able to make disciples of others and just to be able to pour myself into other people and be a servant.”

Matt knows he’s not perfect, but he has a clear picture of the goal: helping bring others to Christ. He’s grateful that his own story—as painful as it was at times—is being used to accomplish that mission.

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About Steven Anthony

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