Staying Together When Bars Keep Them Apart

“I thought that I was going to have this fairytale romance,” Candace says as she looks back on her marriage. “That's what I looked for, love always.”

Candace and her husband, Willie, met while working together. It was a classic whirlwind romance: They began dating, quickly became engaged, and were soon expecting their son, William.

After Willie was struck by an 18-wheeler, Candace never imagined down the line that prescription painkillers would have such a drastic impact on their lives. As a result of becoming addicted to the opioids, he committed a robbery. And before his son had learned his first words, Willie was arrested, and facing 48 years in prison.

“It was so overwhelming to say the least,” Candace said. “I've learned so much about love that I had all misconstrued on the front end.”

Candace and Willie confronted their new life with intention, determining to face together whatever the future brought.

“We are almost 5,000 days into the journey,” she says. “We count each day as we get it because if I had to focus on 48 years, I probably would fall out. Early on, Willie and I made a decision that we were going to lean on God to help us stay together as a family and pour out of whatever grace that He gave us.”

At the time of Willie’s arrest, Candace taught at a charter school. The news of her husband’s incarceration brought about the expected whispers, looks, and unrequested opinions. One colleague asked her what type of person would put their life, and their child’s life, on hold for a man in prison? The jarring comment only served to strengthen Candace’s resolve to embrace her family’s circumstances, as she puts it, “out loud.”

“I had about 37 seconds of silence and after that it was very clear,” she says. “I told her I don't serve a stagnant God and He never intended to put my life on hold. I'm the type of mother to believe that God is going to give me the grace to keep my family connected. We are going to do family as God intended family.”

In prison visitation rooms, Candace and Willie kept their promise to one another, creating meaningful family rituals, routines, and moments. There they celebrated birthdays, taught their son William to tie his shoes, and laughed and cried together. Candace and William visited Willie every weekend for the first eight years of his incarceration.

“[Those weekly visits] were instrumental in our family structure,” she recalled. “Right now, we usually go once a month and then we do a video visit once a month.”

The couple has accomplished more than many couples living under the same roof. Between Candace and Willie, they have started two organizations, published five books, earned a master’s degree, and supported many others through the same situation.

“[Willie] knows my soul as much as I do,” Candace says. “And so he pours into me as much as he can.”

Candace has been surprised by the strength she has found in helping others through similar situations. But she has also learned the power of receiving help.

“I get a lot from giving, and admittedly, I [had] to learn to raise my hand when I don't have anything else to give,” she says.

After Willie’s incarceration, Candace immediately sought out resources and support for her family’s situation but found little available to help her navigate the system as a family. This necessity motivated the couple to launch their own organization called Families of Conviction.

“It was really all about creating this village of people who would become our family,” she said. “I'm in Texas, my blood family is in Virginia, so family looks very different to me. And the needs that I had as a single mom riding up and down the highway were great.”

Families of Conviction became a source of much-needed support for Candace and her son. The organization has become a resource hub and oasis where families dealing with incarceration can meet, support one another, and inspire youth to discover their full potential.

Willie also signed up his son for Prison Fellowship Angel Tree^®, which delivered Christmas gifts to William in his name along with his handwritten message of love.

Recalling the gifts he received through the years, William, now 13, says, “It made me feel happy and reassured me that he was there and that even though he wasn't physically there, that he was watching over me and trying to participate.”

In 2023, the couple’s organization purchased and delivered holiday gifts for other families with loved ones who are incarcerated, bringing their Angel Tree experience full circle. William helped deliver gifts this year.

“My mom told me when I was little that if God gives you a blessing, you're blessed to be a blessing," he says. “I loved seeing the smiles and warmness on people's faces when they got those gifts.”

Though Candace was overwhelmed after her husband’s incarceration, she made the decision to stay present for her son and husband. She has seen God’s faithfulness and guidance to her family. She has also witnessed the kindness of others and learned that caring for herself is important.

“If I’m not good, nobody’s good,” she says. “It’s okay to prioritize you and don’t lose yourself.”

Candace adds that honesty with one’s feelings is essential for parents and caregivers facing circumstances similar to hers.

“This is not a beautiful journey,” she says. “There is ugliness that comes with it. The natural inclination is to hold it all in until you pop, to not tell the truth. But I would say learn to be soulfully [honest] up front. It's already a weight that you're carrying, but the weight of not being able to be honest is a weight that you don't have to carry.”

Candace looks back on the leg of the journey her family has already completed and admits she does not know what is ahead, but she does know whatever happens, she and Willie will hold one another up.

“It's hard and we have difficult days, but we talk every day and pray together,” she says. “Willie is my best friend.”