Tracey was arrested 10 days after her honeymoon and faced a 40-year prison sentence and separation from her four children and new husband Darreyl.
George's drug addiction and life of crime weighed heavily on his marriage, and his wife wasn't sure if she could continue supporting him.
Shane's relationship with his three children was destroyed after an ugly divorce, painful addiction, and two prisons stints.
For spouses and families separated by crime and incarceration, maintaining a relationship is complicated. There is often a lot of pain and broken trust that must be dealt with. Restricted access and limited visitation can make it hard for those on opposite sides of prison walls to stay in contact. In addition, prisoners are often transferred to different facilities, and many end up hundreds of miles away from home.
When prisoners can stay connected to their families, their chances of recidivism drop. Maintaining those relationships and choosing to walk alongside loved ones during their incarceration takes a lot of effort. While every situation is different, here are several resources that may help.
FOUR RESOURCES FOR SPOUSES AND FAMILIES
HOW TO CONTACT PRISONERS
Behind prison walls, the days can feel long and monotonous. Many prisoners look forward to mail, phone calls, and visits from their loved ones. And loved ones on the outside have struggles of their own. Positive contact can help everyone make it through a prison sentence.
HOW TO PREPARE FOR A PRISON VISIT
Every correctional facility has its own set of rules and expectations. Visits to prisoners may require a lot of planning. In this resource, we offer several tips to consider before, during, and after a prison visit.
RAISING CHILDREN WITH A PARENT IN PRISON
When a parent goes to prison, it can have a traumatic and lasting impact on children. If it's appropriate and permitted to do so, building a meaningful and positive relationship between your children and their incarcerated parent may not be easy, but it's possible and may provide significant benefits to children's well-being over time.
HOW TO MAINTAIN A MARRIAGE DURING INCARCERATION
Originally written for Inside Journal®, a quarterly newspaper written specifically for incarcerated men and women, the tips in this article may also benefit spouses left on the outside.
RESTORATION IS POSSIBLE
Tracey wouldn't have blamed Darreyl if he had chosen to leave her after her conviction. Nor did she expect her children to forgive her. But God had other plans. Darreyl chose to stay during that difficult season of marriage, and he brought their children regularly to visit. Thinking back on those days "brings me to tears," Tracey says. "God is faithful."
While in prison, George surrendered his life to Christ and sought sobriety. His wife Irene immediately noticed a change in him. The husband and wife "started learning about each other all over again," Irene shares. "I'm blessed that I was able to stick it out. We're still married to this day. That's a miracle."
Broken relationships take time to heal, but by God's grace, Shane reconnected with his children. It was a journey to reconciliation that began the day his eldest daughter decided to answer his phone call—something his children hadn't done for three years. The conversation was painful, but it was a turning point for the family. Today, Shane is out of prison and able to spend time with his kids. It hasn't been an easy road, but the family is learning to embrace one another again.
Choosing to walk alongside incarcerated loved ones through their sentences can be difficult. It might seem impossible, but with God, all things are possible—even the restoration of strained and broken relationships.
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